Ok…I have been away a while. Just noticed a message about this page in my inbox and realized…I need a little Wisdom right now. So maybe this is the time to get back in…to continue the search for the truth for my Blooming Wisdom.
In the past 3 months, since the new year, I have been attempting a life change. A major life change!
A house move!
Before the new year, I went through my calendar from 2017 and did some real soul searching. What worked? What didn’t work! What would I see myself enjoying and wanting to intentionally put on my schedule again. Certainly there are things we can’t choose in life, in the day to day grind, but quite a bit of time is filled with all of the extra things that we believe we must do, that maybe we don’t.
My word of the year is INTENTION, so this was really an important step to start my year off on the right track.
After going through my calendar, I decided to write a vision of where I would like to see myself in 2018. I also wrote what I would like to see in 10 years. Where would I be, what would I be doing….even what would I look like?
Many guru’s do things like this…but one of mine…Rachel Hollis The Chic Site @TheChicSite taught me this. https://thechicsite.com/
She says the more detailed you are in the vision the more real it becomes. The more detailed you are the more you can work toward it, the more you believe it will happen. What you write is something that you should think about regularly until you get to where you want to go.
Your vision is used as a beacon, not just a goal but a living concept that the more you believe to be real, the more real it can become.
This is hard….because I am busy. We are all so busy and spending this much time chasing after the future, sometimes can feel not only self-absorbed but also can often make me forget to live in the day.
But I tried it and one of the main items for my 2018 year that I envisioned was to move. It has been on my list for years, but we were finally in a place in life where this felt like the next big thing to tackle.
Moving can be exciting and scary all at the same time. We fell in love with a fixer upper. But after some negotiations it was taken off the market so that we could not buy it. We then sold our house before it even made it to market and made an offer on a new one, only for our buyers to walk away over inspection items. It has been maybe more scary than exciting.
The question is, when do you decide to pull the plug? When do you chaulk a movement or plan up to experience and cut the cord. I have spent months spouting idioms like “beggars can’t be choosers” while also assuring everyone that maybe this was “meant to be” or “the universe is telling me something”
But here’s the thing….there have been very real moments in my life I was sure God directly helped me. And in the case of my house sale and move, I have been looking to fall back on him, the universe and so forth. Attempting to find a reason for why something would or wouldn’t work out, as if I am a puppet in some show.
As if God doesn’t have better things to do, but to make me miss a flight because of a sick child or make a house deal fall through because of a future reason grounding me to where I am. As a parent, wouldn’t we rather just open a different door than to close one defensively for our child?
So why do I find myself pushing the outcome of my life consistently to my supreme being? My sister #mcjuliadegan on Insta recently told me that it was because I was supposed to be learning something….a lesson That might be very true and things have been learned. Things will continue to be learned. She also keeps asking me, “Are you Safe?” to remind me that I don’t have to fear what I am going through, it isn’t going to sink my ship, because ultimately if I believe I am safe, I will be able to negotiate the uncertain waters I am in.
But I still can’t shake the idea that I continually push the decision off to God. I chuck it up to the universe and somehow it makes me feel better, because I am essentially saying, I was not in control of this
Here’s the thing though, it is also an easy way to walk away from things when the going gets tough. If it was the will of God and the universe to not have me move, than I can walk away from my goal, one that I envisioned and planned and worked very hard for, because of divine intervention possibly invented by me.
So I am on a new truth mission within myself to determine what I have walked away from, given up on and dismissed with God as my excuse. Using the universe or my horoscope as some guide to why something didn’t work out. I am pretty sure that God would rather me not use him as my excuse out of my own fear.
How many dreams have I given up on because I chucked them up to the heavens and didn’t get the initial answer I wanted! Not anymore! Not anymore!
I will keep you posted on my MOVE date…. wink wink