Sunburst Mirrors – “Let a little sunshine in”

With Summer gone, a great way to brighten a home space is to add a mirror to it. What’s better than a sunburst mirror? These mirrors are timeless. They come in great materials and textures, and are a bold statement in any style room. Check out some of my picks for favorite sunburst mirrors I’ve found online.

Wooden-Starburst-Mirror Etsy JsparksCreations
Wooden-Starburst-Mirror Etsy JsparksCreations
Safavieh Royal Leaf Sunburst Wall Mirror $90.20 Hayneedle
Safavieh Royal Leaf Sunburst Wall Mirror $90.20 Hayneedle
Tielle Starburst Wall Mirror $393.80 All Modern
Tielle Starburst Wall Mirror $393.80 All Modern
Hardy Wall Mirror by House of Hampton $158.99 Wayfair
Hardy Wall Mirror by House of Hampton $158.99 Wayfair
Sunburst Wall Mirror by Darby Home Co $164.99 Wayfair
Sunburst Wall Mirror by Darby Home Co $164.99 Wayfair
Florence Mirror $199.00 Pottery Barn
Florence Mirror $199.00 Pottery Barn
Sunburst on the Scene Mirror $299.00 Wisteria
Sunburst on the Scene Mirror $299.00 Wisteria
Small Sunburst Mirror $35.99 Macys
Small Sunburst Mirror $35.99 Macys

 

Are you raising girls? Are you still raising you? Women…we need to read this and believe it

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While I was setting up a twitter account for Blooming Wisdom the other day, I ran across this piece. Kudos to Mary Elizabeth Williams for speaking truth about women and what defines us. Her piece entitled Women: Stop apologizing for eating stirred an inner pot with me.

http://www.salon.com/2016/09/06/women-stop-apologizing-for-eating/

This piece dares to imply that many women barely eat while in public, and when they do…there is quite a bit of apologizing for it.

When I read this article…the first thing that came to mind was a late afternoon event I was recently at. I noticed a few women saying that they hadn’t eaten yet that day, as they started snacking on the appetizers that were provided.

My first instinct was to gasp…because oh my goodness…they must have been hungry? I don’t judge them, and in fact I envied them for a moment. I note that they are both gorgeous ladies with very trim figures.

I envy the self-control that it must take to only eat once a day or nibble a bit throughout.

The interesting thing is that many women do tend to apologize or explain away their eating. Pointing out to others as they eat…what they have or haven’t had yet that day. Making an excuse for getting something delicious or explaining why it is ok this time.

The author starts with an example of being out to lunch with a female executive who apologized away her choice to go with an entrée instead of her usual salad because she hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning.

How many times have we all heard or even said these words. Do we ever think about the impact these statements make…what they mean? Do we worry if they are in front of our children that we are setting a bad or at least a confusing example.

Isn’t everyone always saying breakfast is the most important meal of the day?

Mary Elizabeth Williams goes on to state, “Women, please, just order the entrée. You don’t need to explain it. You don’t need to apologize for it.”

There was a time many moons ago that I barely ate breakfast. I would love to say it had to do with my waistline, but it was really more to do with my inability to get out of bed as a young twenty something who needed to be to work on time, more than I needed to take good care of my body.

I won’t bother to list the other twenty something type things I did that weren’t great for my body or soul but I have grown and learned from them. I often look back at those years as wasted one’s…though they were fun.

At 24 stumbling through life with a sense of invincibility often drove many of us to throw caution to the wind and eat whatever we wanted or have that diet coke for breakfast and on and on.

The truth is, I still know I have it in me to make poor choices and I don’t judge those who haven’t switched from diet coke to coffee (because coffee of course is more grown up) in their 30’s and 40’s. Everything will kill us right?

But the idea that there are many women still barely eating to keep their figures, psyche and those around them in check is no pun intended….hard to swallow.

I’m not talking about a friend who orders an entrée and eats half and takes the rest home. This is self-control and moderation…which is great and I wish I had more of.

But I remember times where I knit picked every meal. I remember being an athlete in high school and doing a cabbage soup diet. I can’t imagine why I would have needed that now looking back, or how I didn’t realize how much more I needed as an athlete to be balanced and healthy.

I know what it sounds like when I myself would worry so much over a meal and what to get that I couldn’t even make a choice.

Going out to dinner can become debilitating. This behavior drags down those around you and also is a drain on your positive energy. Life is supposed to be fun too, and going out to eat with someone and having them be weird about their food isn’t fun.

I have known ladies over the years that put on such a façade to those around them about food…trying to put forward a version of themselves that isn’t realistic…and why?

We as women need to own are persons and stop apologizing about what we eat, and how we eat it. As the author says, “We’re all working through our lifetimes of baggage, as well as the incessant barrage of messages that a female has failed if she “doesn’t look like this anymore” –i.e., a 20- year-old photograph.”

I often wonder to myself if I just don’t have the internal energy to be that strict with myself…my eating…a diet. But I want to note that every time in my life I have been that minimal in one area, it wreaked havoc in others. Being hyper restrictive can have negative side effects because it isn’t balance. 

“And I want to say that when women are weird in public around food, they put other women in an awkward position. So I’m not playing. I’m not here to give you permission to order fries and I’m not going to co-sign on how fat we’re all going to get after eating this cheesecake. When you exclaim dramatically that you couldn’t possibly eat that whole entrée, I am not going to applaud your restraint. I. Don’t. Care. I am grown-up lady who can make decisions about what to cook and what to order and I’d like to assume you are, too. And being at a table together with other women shouldn’t ever be anything to say you’re sorry about.” Mary Elizabeth Williams

I don’t want my girls being raised worrying about their bodies. I don’t want them to hear me picking over my outfit because I feel I look fat or ugly. I try so hard to keep that from them, and to walk out in to the world with my head held high regardless of how I feel inside. 

I hope to give them good habits that work for them throughout their lives, so that they won’t even need to think about it. Hopes and dreams….right?

There will be a day or many they look in the mirror and wonder if they could be better…but I hope restriction just as much as excess… aren’t the first places they turn to re-fill their hearts and souls.

Distraction and Resilience

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As a child I felt distracted. It seemed a constant in my life. My mom would use the word “bright” when talking about my abilities, but I would start something, get bored and move to something else. But was I bored or was I distracted?

When I got a little older, I remember conversations with my folks about getting distracted. It usually involved trying to stay focused on figure skating training or school work. They would try to help me from getting focused on other things that as my mom would say “derailed me”.

I wasn’t ADD and it wasn’t that I couldn’t sit and focus on something that really interested me, I just wouldn’t always. I tended to let my surroundings dictate my mood, my ability to feel comfortable and my ability to get things accomplished.

Competitive figure skating helped focus my free wondering mind and body.  I am a second child, a dreamer, emotional and as a child was what many would call “a free spirit”. My drive for achieving excellence was usually thwarted for my want to have fun.

In high school I remember a conversation with my father about my path. It was in regards to some insignificant drama in my life at the time. He described life as a path.  In my mind the path is raised on an incline and the sides have grass on it. It tapers off down to a tree line on both sides.

My dad described life as going along this path and constantly having someone or something come up and try to knock you off it. He talked a lot about not letting that happen. Fighting to stay on the path and not get knocked off to begin with. Because it took strength, energy and time to work to get back on the path and keep moving forward.

My father was letting me know that I let people and things push me off my path. He talked about how much happier I would be if I didn’t let every little thing, statement, look from another person, comment, and emotionality push me off my path.

Needless to say….this advice and conversation has obviously stuck with me…but maybe not surprisingly…I still feel like I let things push me off my path. After my free spirited personality turned to a more serious one from elementary school to early college…and childhood day dreams turned to focused intention, I still always had trouble with distraction.

When I say distraction, I literally think of it as a choice conscience or un-conscience to go a different direction, throw caution to the wind, decide to do that chore tomorrow, or just focus on something other than what the original plan was…..and so on.

The problem with this is that when you are aware you are letting life get in your way, and your goal is to not let it happen, you start to have self-doubt. You might start to feel like you are failing. The very label that something you do is wrong, and that you are constantly fighting to not let it happen…makes failure crippling. Owning something or letting it become a part of who you are, can be easier.

But here is the deal…regardless of all of that these distractions still get the best of me a large portion of the time. I always thought that not being pushed off the path was about cutting out extra things that could become a distraction…because saying no for me is pretty hard.

I finally carved 1 hour out to write this and during that hour I answered 2 calls, both from family that ended up taking ½ hour of my hour time. I could have not answered…but I did.

I could have said to the callers, “I’m in the middle of something, let me call you back,” but then the conversation is left for another time and there is never enough time.

Maybe the answer is not that you can keep yourself from getting knocked off that path….but how quickly can you get back up on it. Resilience!

Resilience

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noun re·sil·ience \ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s\

Simple Definition of resilience

: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary

 

Resilience was my word of the year 2 years ago. Instead of picking a new year’s resolution…I pick a word. That word you use as beacon to help you grow that year. Let me tell you…I needed this word 2 years ago…and I may even use it as my word again in the future.

Psychology Today states that, “Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes. Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Even after misfortune, resilient people are blessed with such an outlook that they are able to change course and soldier on.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/resilience

Distractions are constant and can’t be controlled…but how you react to them is really what it is all about.  My dad was right that life is like a path and things are constantly trying to knock you off. But where I was wrong as a young person and have slowly started learning is that resilience gets you back on that path. How resilient you are, is probably more than anything the determining factor for success.

American Psychological Association says that, “Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.”  There are factors that can be associated with being resilient:

 

  • The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
  • A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.
  • Skills in communication and problem solving.
  • The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.

All of these are factors that people can develop in themselves.

 

So my goal for the future is to work less on feeling bad that I let something knock me off my path. Instead, I am going to increasingly focus on how to be resilient in getting back on that path as fast as possible.

Check out the American Psychological Association’s website for tips on how to become more resilient…

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx

Fall Clothes for YOU….forget the kids!

So….I’ve spent some money already for new clothes for my kids for the start of the school year. I never usually have to buy a whole new wardrobe for them for back to school, partly because it still feels like summer outside…and those clothes still fit and look nice….and when you have two girls the second one always has an abundance of hand me downs waiting to be worn.

But really the truth is…I just can’t justify it. I try to shop some good deals and sales and buy neccessities and fill in the blanks as needed. Maybe if I had more money I would do it differenlty.

So here is the thing, I usually neglect myself as most mom’s do. I tend to have trouble justifying too many new clothes for myself each season, even when I want or down right need them. Have you ever waited till infinity to pull the trigger on that new BRA you need? Who wants to spend that kinda money on a BRA?

But…I do like to shop, look and stay current with style…even if I don’t always reflect it : ).

Here are some recent finds from Target that I just couldn’t help but swoon over. Plus…it’s Target so…I have a feeling I can justify a few of these to start off my 2016 fall wardrobe. Let me know whatcha think!

Pink Women's Tie Blouse - Who What Wear TARGET $24.99
Pink Women’s Tie Blouse – Who What Wear TARGET $24.99

Women's Bird Print Blouse - Isani for TARGET $16.48
Women’s Bird Print Blouse – Isani for TARGET $16.48

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When Back to School Isn’t Happy….it’s Sad!

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Summer break is drawing to a close, and kids are getting back to school. We all see so many of the happy pictures of our friend’s kids standing outside with their signs that show what grade they are going into.

 

Happy faces as they get on the bus or are dropped off at school. Pictures of kids as they get off the bus at the end of their first day at school….with happy dazed faces shining brightly.
But my good friend brought up an excellent point today. What if your child isn’t happy? See….my friend’s child isn’t starting off the year happy about her teacher and the friends she is going to spend time with in class.

 

Many of her closest friends were all placed into one teacher’s classroom as she entered a different classroom. She does have a close friend with her, but she was so hoping to be in the other class that happened to also be Harry Potter themed. Her class has no theme and lots of boys. UGG!
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I’m Completely Frazzled!

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Deep Breaths… Deep Breaths…

So I’m completely frazzled! Do you ever get completely frazzled?

To make it worse, when I look at other people they seem to have it all together. I look around and my glazed frazzled eyes see pulled together people, with clean houses, organized living spaces and energy that doesn’t quit.

Which is why when things hit the fan, it is a hard on two levels. (more…)

Here Goes… I’m Starting A Blog

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For some time now I have been wandering a bit…. lost and searching for something. What do I want to do when I grow up?…even though I’m already grown.

I’m a woman, wife, mother, friend, daughter, and sister. But who do I want to be? For many years I had a career, and when I decided to stay home with my littles…the transition was difficult. I was scared I’d get lazy, but eventually being home became all I knew…my job and anything but lazy.

Supporting my kids through their younger years and first stages of elementary school was and is important and I made it my job to volunteer with the school. I wanted to be there to help with friends, homework and activities. I was fortunate enough to be able to do just that. (more…)